What is a Sub-Personality?
Sub-Personality is a constellation of feelings, attitudes and behavior which is solidified and emerges out of a specific need. Subpersonalites develop as a way of getting along in the world, and are the faces that we project to others. Each subpersonality is a distinct energy system. Each represents "a person who lives within us" or our various styles of relating to the world.
Most subpersonalities crystallize and grow early in life as coping strategies or protective mechanisms in response to meeting our needs and wants. They emerge as our styles of "being in the world". We all have many of these distinct energy patterns and unfortunately they make no commitment to cooperating with each other.
We occasionally experience internally conflicting needs, desires or beliefs. In such inner conflicts, when our "sub-personalities" or "personas" have conflicting needs, we are not sure what to do or which decision to make.
SOME SAMPLE CONFLICTS
Let us look at some examples of the inner conflicts that may disturb our peace.
1. One part of ourselves may feel we need to spend more time on our professional life while another part may believe we should spend more time with our family.
2. A part of ourselves may want to open up to a conscious love relationship, while another part fears being abandoned, hurt, suppressed, manipulated, or being unable to be ourselves in that relationship.
3. One part of ourselves may want to give those around us (children, spouses, friends) total freedom to pursue their happiness in their own ways, while another part fears losing control.
4. The part of ourselves that wants to please others may come into direct conflict with our desire to satisfy our own needs.
5. Part of ourselves may want others to support us, while the other feels restricted by their support or advice.
6. One part of ourselves may want spiritual growth, while another may feel the need for material security.
7. One part of ourselves may want to help loved ones or friends, but the other may feel that perhaps we are doing them harm by continuously bailing them out and not letting them solve their own problems.
8. One part of ourselves may feel a need to protect the planet by living a simple life with very little consumption of energy and products, while another part may want to enjoy all the comforts of an energy consuming, pollution producing lifestyle.
9. One part of ourselves may want to take a new job or leave a job that we have, while another part wants the opposite for different reasons.
10. One part of ourselves may believe in cooperating with others, while another finds that difficult.
11. One part of ourselves may have a desire for various objects or situations as a source of pleasure, while another part may feel, this is a sin, or that we are not spiritual if we partake of such pleasures. It may feel this type of pleasure seeking is a waste of time and energy considering our spiritual goals.
12. One part of ourselves may feel the need to have an exclusive relationship in which our happiness and security depend upon another person (usually a mate). Another part may find this an obstacle toward its need for independence, self-sufficiency, and freedom.
13. Our need for personal love may conflict with our need to develop universal love.
14. Our need to forgive may conflict with our need to hold on to negative feelings toward someone.
15. Our need to employ various disciplines may conflict with our need to feel free to do whatever we please whenever we choose.
16. Our need to follow our inner voice may conflict with our need to be like others and be accepted by them.
17. Our need to express our feelings as they are may conflict with our need not to hurt anyone.
18. Our need to express our real feelings and thoughts might clash with our need to have the others¢ acceptance. 19. Our need to follow a spiritual guide might conflict with our need to rebel against all types of advice or control. 20. Our need to control persons and situations in order to feel secure may conflict with our need to let things flow and allow others to act freely.
21. Our need never to show weakness may conflict with our need to share our weaknesses with others or seek their help.
22. Our desire not to ask anything from others may conflict with our need to have their help and support.
23. Our need for a stable routine for our balance and growth may conflict with our need for variety and change. 24. Our need to play our familiar emotional relationship games may conflict with our desire to get free ourselves from them.
25. One part of us wants to face and overcome our fears and blockages while another prefers to avoid and ignore them.
WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT INNER CONFLICTS
1. We first need to get to know these various parts of ourselves by keeping a daily diary in which we refer to them by names that represent their particular qualities needs or emotions.
2. We can keep a separate page for each persona in which we list its particular needs, desires, fears, emotions, reactions and beliefs.
3. We then need to discover for each persona the core belief that creates, sustains and drives it.
4. We must accept each persona as a natural development in our evolution process. Regardless of whether there is use for its continued existence, at some point, it served some purpose in our search for security, self-worth, freedom and equilibrium. We can perceive each persona as one of our children, whom we accept and love regardless of its immaturity. Our purpose is to now educate that persona and help it to manifest its higher potential.
5. We can then allow each persona to express itself in its own unique way through dance, writing, drawing, work, etc.
6. We then move on to let them communicate between themselves.
a. By writing a dialogue like a one act play in which they communicate back and forth expressing: complaints, needs, feelings, beliefs, as well as questions which they have for each other. In this conversation questions are asked and then answered by the other party, or perhaps arguments or accusations made on the one part to be rebutted by the other. Attempts are made by each part to get what it needs from the other. The ultimate purpose is to create an atmosphere of communication, understanding and cooperation between these two personas with conflicting needs. b. The same process can then be done verbally as described below.
by: Robert Elias Najemy
His book The Psychology of Happiness is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.holisticharmony.com/psychofhappiness.htmlYou can download FREE articles and e-books from http://www.holisticharmony.com/ where you can also receive guidance on life issues.